Until today, I’d been underwhelmed with the food I’ve eaten in Dallas, though not surprised. It’s not like I think of Texas as state with refined culinary tastes.

This morning, I told my parents, “We’re going to eat good food!”

I had to rally them at the museum, “Don’t eat, we’re going to get food!” My mother, barefoot with bloody blisters, hobbled through the wide Dallas streets. I fed them salted nuts after the museum and made sure the weren’t going to faint as my mother bought plastic slippers to walk to the Grassy Knoll.

My old man was practically writhing with hunger! Still, I’d not let them eat! I forced them to Neimen Marcus, before boarding a little trolley with a humongous conductor.

When I’m done eating, I’m going to look like that…damn the fat bet!

Here’s what I had for supper at the fabulous S & D Oyster Company.

Eighteen Gulf Coast oysters on the half shell with a cocktail sauce the waiter mixed at the table
Sliced tomatoes with a 1/2 cup of spicy mayonnaise sauce
A cup of BBQ Shrimp and Cream Cheese sauce to eat on saltines. (I thought I ordered BBQ shrimp with some sauce…not an actual vat of fat)

When I was done with that…

A dozen hot peppered shrimp which included slaw and a loaf of french bread
Snitched a few of my old man’s fries
It needed three Shiner Bock beers to wash it all down
Just one slice of lemon pie

I LOVE ME SOME TEXAS!